Very Good, Jeeves by P G Wodehouse

Author:P G Wodehouse
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781409035046
Publisher: Random House

7 JEEVES AND THE KID CLEMENTINA

IT HAS BEEN well said of Bertram Wooster by those who know him best that, whatever other sporting functions he may see fit to oil out of, you will always find him battling to his sixteen handicap at the annual Golf tournament of the Drones Club. Nevertheless, when I heard that this year they were holding it at Bingley-on-Sea, I confess I hesitated. As I stood gazing out of the window of my suite at the Splendide on the morning of the opening day, I was not exactly a-twitter, if you understand me, but I couldn’t help feeling I might have been rather rash.

‘Jeeves,’ I said, ‘now that we have actually arrived, I find myself wondering if it was quite prudent to come here.’

‘It is a pleasant spot, sir.’

‘Where every prospect pleases,’ I agreed. ‘But though the spicy breezes blow fair o’er Bingley-on-Sea, we must never forget that this is where my Aunt Agatha’s old friend, Miss Mapleton, runs a girls’ school. If the relative knew I was here, she would expect me to call on Miss Mapleton.’

‘Very true, sir.’

I shivered somewhat.

‘I met her once, Jeeves. ’Twas on a summer’s evening in my tent, the day I overcame the Nervii. Or, rather, at lunch at Aunt Agatha’s a year ago come Lammas Eve. It is not an experience I would willingly undergo again.’

‘Indeed, sir?’

‘Besides, you remember what happened last time I got into a girls’ school?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Secrecy and silence, then. My visit here must be strictly incog. If Aunt Agatha happens to ask you where I spent this week, tell her I went to Harrogate for the cure.’

‘Very good, sir. Pardon me, sir, are you proposing to appear in those garments in public?’

Up to this point our conversation had been friendly and cordial, but I now perceived that the jarring note had been struck. I had been wondering when my new plus-fours would come under discussion, and I was prepared to battle for them like a tigress for her young.

‘Certainly, Jeeves,’ I said. ‘Why? Don’t you like them?’

‘No, sir.’

‘You think them on the bright side?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘A little vivid, they strike you as?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Well, I think highly of them, Jeeves,’ I said firmly.

There already being a certain amount of chilliness in the air, it seemed to me a suitable moment for springing another item of information which I had been keeping from him for some time.

‘Er – Jeeves,’ I said.

‘Sir?’

‘I ran into Miss Wickham the other day. After chatting of this and that, she invited me to join a party she is getting up to go to Antibes this summer.’

‘Indeed, sir?’

He now looked definitely squiggle-eyed. Jeeves, as I think I have mentioned before, does not approve of Bobbie Wickham.

There was what you might call a tense silence. I braced myself for an exhibition of the good old Wooster determination. I mean to say, one has got to take a firm stand from time to time. The trouble with Jeeves is that he tends occasionally to get above himself.

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